My Own Interpretation

Does your husband know the way that the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?
sdkjfnelrhchu I want FOB’s CD! Dx <333 It’s amazing. I adore ‘Headfirst Slide into Cooperstown on a Bad Bet’ so much. It’s so good. c___c;

Still shitty, but I think after two days, I can cool it. Two of my friends keep helping me chill out so I wanna cheer up so they know they’re big influences on me. <3 That and I get the worst hives when I get anxious or overwhelmed and they hurt like hell. My legs are all carved up. ~~; It’s soooore lol.

Trying to keep it positive. >> Only got two more finals! Tomorrow. I’m a little nervous, but I have A’s in both these classes so….we’ll hope for the best. I can’t wait for my winter break…even if it’s two weeks. It’s still something. I’m gonna paint my ass off and work on shit for my portfolio. I’m gonna fight what’s pissing me off! D<; Not all of it, but the big shit!

No art. D; Haven’t been drawing on the comp obviously….

I’ll blackmail myself ’cause I ain’t got anyone else.

Unf, FOB’s new album came out today. <3 I really hope I get it for Christmas. I wonder if I’m even getting anything lol. I already know my uncle’s working on Chris Brown tickets so if that happens and I get the FOB CD, it’ll be a good Christmas…getting wise. I’m hoping people like what I give them.

Bleeeeh…Tonight was great. A lot of nice stuff happened which made the day much better. I wish it put me in a better mood. I feel so cruddy. –;;; I’ve been trying to force out the happy and now I’m tired. I’m just….zkdjfhlsjh…I’m sick of not having a job. I’m sicking of trying and getting nowhere and then being the ass of the load. I need a fucking job so bad and I keep making myself sick thinking about it. I was fucking puking last  night I think the nerves are what made me so sick this morning. And then it makes it even more frustrating when I get three people around me getting jobs and all at places I apply at. I’m glad I didn’t get the groceiry store, but still. And I’m tired of friends doing stupid things for stupid reasons. I’m tired of having so many friends that hound people for attention and then try to brag to me when I barely give an actual celebrity any credit…nevermind someone I talk to every day anyway. I’m tired of being a fucking rebound waiting to get dropped. I’m tired of being everyone’s emotional support and then being told not to cry just because I’m preeching to the choir or whatever the saying is. I know everyone has problems, but that’s half the reason I like letting people vent to me. And I’m tired of being the ass of the group. I feel like a joke and I’m only allowed to be happy when someone else is getting what I get and then if I’m not happy enough for someone else, I’m guilted. I’m tired of fighting with my mom and I’m tired of her bitching. I’m tired of being in a shitty college with shitty teachers and students.

Nnng…I’m tired of making myself sick at night with anxiety. ~~; Lol I started this on a positive note and got pretty negative, didn’t I? Ah well…maybe I have winter blues. I can be a whiney bitch, that’s what blogs are for.

Her hair didn’t end up getting this long, but I like styling Chin. <3;

Come oooon classes! Dx< End! I’m done with math and Miss Cal-cuh-later after this. Mass Art don’t care about math credits. I’m tired of most of my classes actually. Psychology’s okay, but math sucks in every way, my Art teacher’s a complete retard and my English class was meant for high school or middle school and my teacher is the reading rainbow. We finally read something that was cool though. The Lottery. D; We go from reading about whiney women who waste their time bitching about calling a shirt a wife-beater to a God-forsaken town that does a yearly ritual. Watched the movie too which was better. It had more to the story too. :[

Haven’t been able to draw much lately…well, using my tablet, I mean…..or use my computer. My computer got a virus and my friend has been trying to help me get rid of it. I owe him a good Christmas present for being such awesome help. c_c; My comp’s such a bitch. Hopefully I’ll be off the lappy soon.

Aaaand still no job. Gotta get more ideas. ~~; I have been getting more money for watching kids thankfully, but still. And then it doesn’t help that mom takes my cash right after. I know she needs it, buuut…I do too. c__c; I might actually consider Pet Co. That sounds weird that I’m avoiding it so much, but…I have no ride to it..my friend that works there claims she will take me even when she isn’t working, but I know it’s bull,  but she keeps saying she will. Might have to see.

*weep* SAI, we shall meet again. QQ

Expecting the worst and hoping for the best. D;

Lol, I’m a fucking psychic though. I know how it goes. Just counting down from here.

dfjneuifnei Classes are almost over! c___c I’m happy. I almost got screwed over with new classes, but I got saved today. So things will be okay. I finished all my final projects…and I really hope I pass math. I’ve been lying to mom about mid-term grades being on the internet, but I don’t think I can lie about a final grade. I’m passing everything but math, but I know she’ll start crying that I have a D or something. Hopefully I passed my test and it’ll reach a C from the work I’ve done. ~~;;;;;

Still no job, but I’m finally quitting nursery at church. I like the kids, but I hate how I’m the only one doing my job sooo…yea.

Things have been okay more or less, but my anxiet’s been fucking crazy lately. And then the issue with that friend again. Lol I can’t even get into that any more. ~~; What’s there to say? *sob* I’m just tired of being the ass-rebound of the bunch. We’re close, but I always feel like I’m just waiting to get tossed aside so I never expect anything better. I know there’s not much I can do about it, but….eh. It’s upsetting since I care. e__e; I really don’t want to, but I do and it’s frustrating. I know they care about me, but I feel like I have to wait to get tossed aside. I…kind of tried talking about it with them…but sort of no since a similar situation was going on with an irl friend. Ehhhh it doesn’t matter. Just gotta keep the love.

Lol no one probably reads my crap any more. xD;; All I do is sulk or ramble. I guess it’s a somewhat personal journal then? Sure.

Anyway….eh….I got nothing good. Just rambles to make the anxiety chill. Friend finally has me wanting to talk to the doctor about meds. I’m tired of getting so fucking loopy with nerves when there’s nothing really wrong.