My Own Interpretation

That’s where you will get to see everything the water can be~

Song in mah heart lol :[

Well…sort of. Not really. Things stopped being pleasant pretty fast since the retreat. Thankfully things aren’t too bad to a point. I’m not stressed with school and I’m in good health…just uh….eh. Things are still bad. A looot of friend problems whether they’re sick, the friendship’s over or things are just…yea. It’s tiring. Finally hit the last chapter with a stressful issue. Can’t say I’m happy about it, but I guess it’s for the best. Just gotta get over it now.

Oh and it’s been weird. I had some really normal girl optimism, but I let it pass to keep my head more focused. Doesn’t really suit me. D; Aaaand…missed my chance at playing teacher and getting taken seriously by the other LEDGE leaders….that sucked…

I think my cat might be kicking the bucket soon too. And RP has been fun, I guess. Some really good shit, but more frustration because of OOC, but eh. Getting involved!…I think?

Lol I’m tired. cc; Went on the retreat! I can’t tell if it did the trick, but I had a lot of fun. <3 This was my first year being a teacher. d-Dx I was really upset because Brian was too weak to come. ~~; He was in so much pain, I didn’t even get to hug him until after I came home. He seemed to be doing better when we all came home though.

But yea…It was fun and I got a lot out of it and feel a little more relaxed, buuut….eh. It wasn’t as amazing as usual. This is probably the first year I can say I could have had a better time. A lot of people were being pussies and/ or royally pissed me off because they were being assholes and then the fact that I was the only leader following the rules in the room made me angry. We’re not supposed to let the students have technology, but we always break it and let them have mp3 players….not a fucking LAPTOP. One of the leaders had to write a paper, but her daughter used it the entire time and just stayed in her room which made others do that and the other leaders waited until the trip was damn near over to finally agree with me that it needed to be turned off. ~~; I don’t like being a prick, but that’s the point of the no technology shit. But whatever. That was a small detail. People were being such pricks and as usual I still have issues with one of my old friends, but eh…It was fun, but people suck. We listened to Lady Gaga to and from though and everyone got along for the most part and I got what I needed out of it.

After I came home, things were much more shitty and hanging around so many tempermental bitches for so long made me pretty tempermental last night, but I think I’m good now. Just needed some sleep and..yea.

Onto brighter news! Cheesecake Factory on wednesday! Dx So glad. I haven’t been to that place in a long time and this time it’s with friends and not family. c_c;

Classes are okay, but I gotta keep at it and I still need a damn job. I got another no so I think I’m gonna just suck it up and try the Dollar Tree again. Could be worse. It’s quiet, everything’s a dollar and it’s right by my college.

EXTREME GIANT BOOM. Yea, I need to doodle more so I don’t put big shit up…

Another cruddy night. Feel worse as the week goes on…bleh, fuck it all. Don’t even care any more. Not worth fussing over myself, but I’m just fucking sick of everything. Wouldn’t care if I didn’t make myself get so worked up and throw up. ~~; Eugh….Just…yea…..fuck it….Tired of my shitty school, tired of being the fucking ass of all my friendships and feeling used half the time, I’m tired of being a fucking rebound, I wanna get out of here and of course, I want my damn high school classmates. Fucking lonely here. Felt like a family and they actually gave a shit about me and didn’t make me feel like a sack of crap. We all celebrated each others birthdays, we didn’t avoid each others problems and….bleh…I don’t know….maybe I just miss having creepo pet my head and talk about Saw…hey wow, I cracked a funny….

Eugh…not gonna get any sleep tonight, I can feel it.

Nnng….please end, weekend. Pretty please? I got mentally kicked in the balls so many damn times in one and a half damn days….

/wrist

I need something good….Actually, I just need to stop giving myself credit. Every time I do, I always get reminded about being such a low ranked, rebounded little shit.